There must be some sort of code to chit-chat, I haven't read it but everyone seems to know the dialect and routine... On Mondays in the office everyone asks, "How was your weekend, etc..." Midweek people say the generic, "How are you? What's up?" Or they resort to talk about lunch or weather, or a major current event. And when Thursday and Friday roll in they start asking "What are you plans for the weekend... etc" And this same routine is played out each week with coworkers who we don't know very well or only interact with in the kitchen or in passing.
This same type of thing happens when people meet for the first time, as if there are standard questions to meeting... "Where are you from? What is your occupation?" Although I clearly see a purpose in this, because you have to start somewhere- After being asked the same thing over and over, responses are rehearsed and it all becomes less personal, and after those first few questions people run out of conversation. It stays on the surface and people are afraid to ask anything "too personal" for fear of being offensive. But why? Isn't that how you really get to know each other, how you really become friends? Are those first questions a selection process of who you can continue with? Do we ask so we can find common ground to discuss? And why is it so easy to connect with some people, and you don't even remember that silly intro chit chat- people who become good friends instantly? Why are there walls with some and not others- mutual acquaintances always soften the intro. But I find these human habits quite interesting and wonder if they vary by culture? How much do we judge from those question and answers that reveal so little and how is each person's categorizing process different? I read a book last year called Blink- that discussed our instant judgements that we make without further information. Do we form these habits to protect ourselves, to shield ourselves until we build trust and comfort? Some people may not relate because they have no social inhibitors, while others may not know that conversation ever gets deeper or relationships can become more meaningful because they don't know how to get past this point.
I don't know where I am going with these thoughts, this is all rambling- but each week as I over hear these routine conversations or take part in them myself- I wonder why? And I would like to switch it up. This is where my hypothetical questioning could come in handy. One of my favorites, "If you knew you were going to be a guest on Oprah sometime in the next 15 years, what do you think it would be for? (Amazing talent, wrote a book, cooking skills, makeover, burn victim.. etc)" Basically, What is your story? Or what will it be? And are you willing to share it?
