The Need for Need

I can’t recall the details but a while back I heard some interesting advice. When you have somebody who does not seem to like you or is just a little cold and you want to break down the barrier between you… Ask him/ her to help you with something. Perhaps something where they can really offer some support, help or advice (not silly tasks like cleaning up after you, try something you need and they can offer.) And somehow through helping you, they may start to like you a little more. It may sound backwards to the truth we already know in the joy of offering help to others, and not wanting to be a burden. But it can be as simple as asking travel advice about a place they have been. It may seem awkward asking because that person is a little cold but when they realize that they are needed then they warm up a little. You have to give in to your own pride, in case you were holding out and don’t want to ask for fear of feeding the other person’s ego- but the reality is, people need to be needed. Think about it- isn’t there a little emotional high from serving and helping others? So, although it’s hard to ask, you are really offering somebody else the chance at that warm fuzzy feeling, and soon- they will associate that with you. And you are now somebody that they know they can ask in return when they are in need, and soon enough you have found a friend in your previously cold coworker or classmate. It makes sense to me because people need to be needed. Our need for need is what solidifies relationships. Families need each other, friends need each other. People thrive in a work place where they know that they are needed. A good team makes sure that each person is needed. And things fall apart when we stop needing each other. Being needed builds self confidence and motivation. Need keeps us moving through the day and gives purpose to our lives. Of course it is important to be independent and self sufficient, but the man who says, “I don’t need nobody,” probably needs the most. And he probably needs to be needed more than anybody else. We live in a modern world where technology and money fills in for so many of the things we need in life… but these things cannot replace our need to be needed. People are now turning to their alternative realities because they feel needed there. We all need a little help. We have our struggles and our setbacks and sometimes just a need to talk but are all too often afraid to ask. Let it go both ways, reach out, you need somebody and they need you. Be willing to offer, share and serve and you will certainly be needed. Don’t let these needs become a burden when they are really such an opportunity. We all have needs and we all have a need for need. And just remember that need begets love.