Reflections

Since this is my blog that nobody reads yet I figure I can get away with writing about nothing in particular. These are interesting and troubling times. After months of rising heat in housing markets around the nation, I remember about a year ago when with the failure of Bear Sterns set Wall Street ablaze! So many others followed suit in the months to come, Lehman Brothers, AIG, Indymac... etc. Now such headlines are all too common to barely stir newsworthiness. The stock market, layoffs and foreclosure statistics are constantly revealed at record lows... and after so many times nobody can trust when the "record low" will hold it's rank very long before a new record is set.
I personally know people out of work and struggling to find a job or pay the bills. I don't have much but I too lost almost 40% of my 401k, I cannot imagine those who are near retirement and just lost 40% of what they have worked 40 years to build. People throughout America are scared and don't know who to trust. When there are trust issues... there are problems. Some people are looking to Obama as some kind of savior and others are trying to be more self reliant. Whatever the method, everyone is affected and is having a some version of a wake-up call. Questioning what's really important, needs verses wants. And pondering old cliche's like "money can't buy happiness." We must look within for greater joy in life, finding love and laughter and gratitude for what we do have and not overemphasising what we must go without.
I cannot speak for all, but I speak for many of my generation. We grew up in times of economic prosperity and are now learning for ourselves that our once common ways of life, are in fact luxuries to be earned rather than hand outs. Perhaps we will become more grateful for what we have and have had throughout our lives. I hope for the best and I pray for those in need. I have faith that there will be prosperity again, but I don't know that money will ever be so freely spent by our generation. I think that many corrections are absolutely necessary and I hope that more responsible behavior will follow. I hope for a higher standard of ethics and self discipline to spread, not because it is enforced by the government but because people see these times as an opportunity to change from within and to be a little better moving forward.

Well Stated Jane Eyre

"I care for myself. The more solitary, the more friendless, the more unstained, I am, the more I respect myself. I will keep the law given by God, sanctioned by man. I will hold to the principles received by me when I was sane, and not mad- as I am now. Laws and Principles are not for times when there is no temptation; they are for such moments as this, when body and soul rise in mutiny against their rigor; stringent are they; inviolate they shall be. If at my individual convenience I might break them, what would be their worth? They have a worth, so I have always believed; and if I cannot believe it now, it is because I am insane, quite insane, with my veins running fire, and my heart beating faster than I can count its throbs. Preconceived opinions, foregone determinations are all I have at this hour to stand by; there I plant my foot." --Jane Eyre

So I happen to be reading Jane Eyre for the first time right now and I am finally really into it. There are so many great passages, but yesterday this one really stood out to me. It goes along with the principle, which I firmly support, that one should decide his/her morals before facing temptation. And it is through these morals that we gain self respect, which makes any suffering or sacrifice worth it. No value can be assigned to self respect or moral conviction. These attributes can define our character, even in and especially in times of weakness or temptation offer guidance and comfort. I love this line, Laws and principles are not for times when there is no temptation. Well stated Jane Eyre, I couldn't agree more.

Oh to crave...

"An intense desire to consume a particular food" (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Food_craving) I hear about pregnant women and their cravings, but I have had intense cravings all my life, so I see no correlation there- and if anything I fear my cravings becoming more frequent or intense when I am with child. I am always craving something, as if there is a queue of cravings at any given time, and to the point that I cannot forget it until it is fulfilled. And all that nonsense about cravings coming from what your body is deficient in- I don't think so, because then I would crave healthier foods, meat and iron... but no- I think it's more psychological. Some sort of comfort found in a particular food. A week ago I started craving these Trader Joe's cinnamon graham crackers. They are nothing to rave about- but I thought it would go away and it did not- a whole week passed and I was still thinking about them- so I gave up a splendid parking spot (which should tell you right there that I must have really wanted them) and went to Trader Joe's and bought two boxes and ate probably ten! And a few days ago I started craving good old fashioned cheep high calorie and low nutrition- Kraft Macaroni & cheese. I just need a few bites! I have not yet had the chance to indulge on this but it has not left me since it started. Most of my cravings are pretty random, anything from creamsicles to circus peanuts, pickles or Thai food. Sometimes I really just need a taste and other times I go overboard. Some of my cravings come from commercials (I'm such a sucker to food marketing!) more frequently certain smells start the craving or memories of a particular flavor, or hearing somebody else talk about it.My husband knows that once I mention something that the item will show up in our fridge or cupboard within the week. I really can't explain- perhaps I am too indulgent- or this shows I may have addictive behavior. I'm not quite sure, but please tell me I'm not totally alone in this.. What's on your craving queue?

Chit chat

There must be some sort of code to chit-chat, I haven't read it but everyone seems to know the dialect and routine... On Mondays in the office everyone asks, "How was your weekend, etc..." Midweek people say the generic, "How are you? What's up?" Or they resort to talk about lunch or weather, or a major current event. And when Thursday and Friday roll in they start asking "What are you plans for the weekend... etc" And this same routine is played out each week with coworkers who we don't know very well or only interact with in the kitchen or in passing.

This same type of thing happens when people meet for the first time, as if there are standard questions to meeting... "Where are you from? What is your occupation?" Although I clearly see a purpose in this, because you have to start somewhere- After being asked the same thing over and over, responses are rehearsed and it all becomes less personal, and after those first few questions people run out of conversation. It stays on the surface and people are afraid to ask anything "too personal" for fear of being offensive. But why? Isn't that how you really get to know each other, how you really become friends? Are those first questions a selection process of who you can continue with? Do we ask so we can find common ground to discuss? And why is it so easy to connect with some people, and you don't even remember that silly intro chit chat- people who become good friends instantly? Why are there walls with some and not others- mutual acquaintances always soften the intro. But I find these human habits quite interesting and wonder if they vary by culture? How much do we judge from those question and answers that reveal so little and how is each person's categorizing process different? I read a book last year called Blink- that discussed our instant judgements that we make without further information. Do we form these habits to protect ourselves, to shield ourselves until we build trust and comfort? Some people may not relate because they have no social inhibitors, while others may not know that conversation ever gets deeper or relationships can become more meaningful because they don't know how to get past this point.

I don't know where I am going with these thoughts, this is all rambling- but each week as I over hear these routine conversations or take part in them myself- I wonder why? And I would like to switch it up. This is where my hypothetical questioning could come in handy. One of my favorites, "If you knew you were going to be a guest on Oprah sometime in the next 15 years, what do you think it would be for? (Amazing talent, wrote a book, cooking skills, makeover, burn victim.. etc)" Basically, What is your story? Or what will it be? And are you willing to share it?

Do they see what I see?

Have you ever been conversing with a friend or family member and realised that they see themselves very differently than how you see them. OR- they see you very differently than you view yourself? Self perception really is such a strange thing. I still don't know how to tell who is really accurate, because one would think that they know themselves the best- but often times the clearer view is outside of you. I have met people who think they are the greatest while I am not at all impressed and I have met amazing people who think of themselves as insignificant in every way. How does this happen? How do we decide what we see? Is it how we feel or what we have heard others say? If you and your best friend filled out a survey about you- would your answers be the same? Or what if your mom, your teacher, and your boy friend all took that same survey- would they all describe you in different ways because of your various experiences with them? I think it is important to understand yourself and know who you are and who you want to be. It may be important to consider the opinions of others you trust to help you understand your own behaviors or feelings about you. It seems that the most accurate view would be to take into account those around you and compare it with your own. You may learn more about yourself. And you may have insight to share about others.

Where do you browse?

When you dream, what do you dream about? What books do you buy, what magazines do you read, what websites do you visit? What gets your attention? There is so much available to us, information and shopping and social networking... So when you are surfing the Internet where do you waste your time... Some people shop- always looking for good deals or the latest items. Some are addicted to eBay, and others to baby clothes. Some, like my husband, can spend hours on sports pages reading articles and checking stats or scores. Some people look at things they shouldn't-(I won't go there)- Some people go for self-help stuff or health & fitness. Others read recipes and others read about real estate. And some discover craft projects while others read celebrity gossip or others watch Hulu and YouTube nonstop. But if you were to catch me doing something non-work related while at my desk... I would probably be found on http://www.sidestep.com/, http://www.kayak.com/, http://www.lonelyplanet.com/, Travelocity, Expedia, Travel Leisure, Marriott, Delta...etc. I would be dreaming about my next vacation, planning a getaway or counting how many more miles i need to go somewhere. I can't explain, but when I walk in a book store I find myself in the travel section reading and dreaming. I know that everyone has an outlet that they find at their desk or at the mall or in a magazine... what is yours?

Real Happy Endings

I'm sure everyone already saw this on the news or maybe watched it live. But I just have to say that I love real live Happy Endings- No reality TV set-up or script, and although these passengers were probably a little traumatized, they will be all more grateful for their lives. http://www.abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory?id=6656774

So Tired....

Sometimes I get down right annoyed at the fact that a bunch of early birds run the world. For some reason they make everyone work on their clocks when the reality is that for some of us, it's just so much easier to stay awake at night than it is in the morning. I would love to be a lazy cat who can see in the dark and stay up all night and sleep in the warm sun all day.... Don't cat's kill birds in the whole circle of life thing? So why are the early birds still on top? And what's so great about getting the worm anyway?

My friend with a newborn baby said the other day that it takes a while for a baby to figure out how to sleep at night and be awake in the day because in the womb it's all the same... So this proves that we are not born with it! It's something we train our bodies to do. I can see why back in the day there was no other option because lack of lighting made the night ours less productive, and we do need our sleep, so it made sense- but the whole morning thing, waking up when it's still dark- it has never been and probably never will be natural or easy for me. I've been doing it my whole life and I still dread every morning!!! So after staying up too late last night, now I sit at my desk at work, trying my darndest to stay awake. Bloodshot eyes and raw skin demonstrate my lack of beauty sleep. Don't get my wrong- I love the day, I love the sun, I love the light.... But I hate the mornings. Just a few more hours would make all the difference... Or at least compensate with the whole siesta thing- the Spanish are certainly onto something there!

Tail-wagging smiles

I can't take claim to this original thought, for my mother once came up with it and it has since always made me laugh when it comes to mind. So dogs can't really smile, so they have to show their smiles and happiness through wagging their tails. It's cute and all when they do it- but wouldn't it just be funny if we couldn't smile, and wagged our bottoms instead? Just try it some time, keep a straight face and wiggle your booty when you are happy...

Scales & Mirrors

So I was thinking last night that Scales and Mirrors are most definitely not my friends. And then I got to thinking what the world would be like without them? I can understand the purpose of scales for measuring goods and such, but whoever thought of putting people on them was just cruel. Mirrors and scales sort of have a lot in common when it comes to people- they are supposed to let you know where you stand- but of course, we wouldn't know what is expected without society and media to compare against... So mirrors, this includes all things like mirrors, cameras and such... but really- what if you never knew what you looked like and you had to trust others? What about back in cave-man days when all they saw was a rare reflection in a clear lake.

Do mirrors make us more self centered? More self consumed? If you never looked at yourself then would you focus more on those around you? Would you admire the beauty of others and not compare it against your own. Perhaps the whole world of make-up and nose jobs would never have evolved without mirrors. Is there any correlation between time spent looking in mirrors and self-absorption or vanity? Will there be mirrors in heaven? Perhaps we should spend a little less time looking into physical mirrors and consider the reflections of our lives that allow us to see who we are and who we have become through experiences and choices we have made.

So here we go...

I guess this is the beginning of sharing my thoughts on any random thing that comes to mind. I'm sure at times this will be repetitious and I have no idea who my audience will be, but this will be a form of online journaling for me. Not in the sense of what I did today.... but what I thought about. Probably things of no interest to anyone else, but perhaps an opportunity to see into someone else's brain for a moment. I don't always plan to make a lot of sense or do a lot of editing, but just let it flow. So here we go! Enjoy!