Reflections

Since this is my blog that nobody reads yet I figure I can get away with writing about nothing in particular. These are interesting and troubling times. After months of rising heat in housing markets around the nation, I remember about a year ago when with the failure of Bear Sterns set Wall Street ablaze! So many others followed suit in the months to come, Lehman Brothers, AIG, Indymac... etc. Now such headlines are all too common to barely stir newsworthiness. The stock market, layoffs and foreclosure statistics are constantly revealed at record lows... and after so many times nobody can trust when the "record low" will hold it's rank very long before a new record is set.
I personally know people out of work and struggling to find a job or pay the bills. I don't have much but I too lost almost 40% of my 401k, I cannot imagine those who are near retirement and just lost 40% of what they have worked 40 years to build. People throughout America are scared and don't know who to trust. When there are trust issues... there are problems. Some people are looking to Obama as some kind of savior and others are trying to be more self reliant. Whatever the method, everyone is affected and is having a some version of a wake-up call. Questioning what's really important, needs verses wants. And pondering old cliche's like "money can't buy happiness." We must look within for greater joy in life, finding love and laughter and gratitude for what we do have and not overemphasising what we must go without.
I cannot speak for all, but I speak for many of my generation. We grew up in times of economic prosperity and are now learning for ourselves that our once common ways of life, are in fact luxuries to be earned rather than hand outs. Perhaps we will become more grateful for what we have and have had throughout our lives. I hope for the best and I pray for those in need. I have faith that there will be prosperity again, but I don't know that money will ever be so freely spent by our generation. I think that many corrections are absolutely necessary and I hope that more responsible behavior will follow. I hope for a higher standard of ethics and self discipline to spread, not because it is enforced by the government but because people see these times as an opportunity to change from within and to be a little better moving forward.

Well Stated Jane Eyre

"I care for myself. The more solitary, the more friendless, the more unstained, I am, the more I respect myself. I will keep the law given by God, sanctioned by man. I will hold to the principles received by me when I was sane, and not mad- as I am now. Laws and Principles are not for times when there is no temptation; they are for such moments as this, when body and soul rise in mutiny against their rigor; stringent are they; inviolate they shall be. If at my individual convenience I might break them, what would be their worth? They have a worth, so I have always believed; and if I cannot believe it now, it is because I am insane, quite insane, with my veins running fire, and my heart beating faster than I can count its throbs. Preconceived opinions, foregone determinations are all I have at this hour to stand by; there I plant my foot." --Jane Eyre

So I happen to be reading Jane Eyre for the first time right now and I am finally really into it. There are so many great passages, but yesterday this one really stood out to me. It goes along with the principle, which I firmly support, that one should decide his/her morals before facing temptation. And it is through these morals that we gain self respect, which makes any suffering or sacrifice worth it. No value can be assigned to self respect or moral conviction. These attributes can define our character, even in and especially in times of weakness or temptation offer guidance and comfort. I love this line, Laws and principles are not for times when there is no temptation. Well stated Jane Eyre, I couldn't agree more.

Oh to crave...

"An intense desire to consume a particular food" (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Food_craving) I hear about pregnant women and their cravings, but I have had intense cravings all my life, so I see no correlation there- and if anything I fear my cravings becoming more frequent or intense when I am with child. I am always craving something, as if there is a queue of cravings at any given time, and to the point that I cannot forget it until it is fulfilled. And all that nonsense about cravings coming from what your body is deficient in- I don't think so, because then I would crave healthier foods, meat and iron... but no- I think it's more psychological. Some sort of comfort found in a particular food. A week ago I started craving these Trader Joe's cinnamon graham crackers. They are nothing to rave about- but I thought it would go away and it did not- a whole week passed and I was still thinking about them- so I gave up a splendid parking spot (which should tell you right there that I must have really wanted them) and went to Trader Joe's and bought two boxes and ate probably ten! And a few days ago I started craving good old fashioned cheep high calorie and low nutrition- Kraft Macaroni & cheese. I just need a few bites! I have not yet had the chance to indulge on this but it has not left me since it started. Most of my cravings are pretty random, anything from creamsicles to circus peanuts, pickles or Thai food. Sometimes I really just need a taste and other times I go overboard. Some of my cravings come from commercials (I'm such a sucker to food marketing!) more frequently certain smells start the craving or memories of a particular flavor, or hearing somebody else talk about it.My husband knows that once I mention something that the item will show up in our fridge or cupboard within the week. I really can't explain- perhaps I am too indulgent- or this shows I may have addictive behavior. I'm not quite sure, but please tell me I'm not totally alone in this.. What's on your craving queue?

Chit chat

There must be some sort of code to chit-chat, I haven't read it but everyone seems to know the dialect and routine... On Mondays in the office everyone asks, "How was your weekend, etc..." Midweek people say the generic, "How are you? What's up?" Or they resort to talk about lunch or weather, or a major current event. And when Thursday and Friday roll in they start asking "What are you plans for the weekend... etc" And this same routine is played out each week with coworkers who we don't know very well or only interact with in the kitchen or in passing.

This same type of thing happens when people meet for the first time, as if there are standard questions to meeting... "Where are you from? What is your occupation?" Although I clearly see a purpose in this, because you have to start somewhere- After being asked the same thing over and over, responses are rehearsed and it all becomes less personal, and after those first few questions people run out of conversation. It stays on the surface and people are afraid to ask anything "too personal" for fear of being offensive. But why? Isn't that how you really get to know each other, how you really become friends? Are those first questions a selection process of who you can continue with? Do we ask so we can find common ground to discuss? And why is it so easy to connect with some people, and you don't even remember that silly intro chit chat- people who become good friends instantly? Why are there walls with some and not others- mutual acquaintances always soften the intro. But I find these human habits quite interesting and wonder if they vary by culture? How much do we judge from those question and answers that reveal so little and how is each person's categorizing process different? I read a book last year called Blink- that discussed our instant judgements that we make without further information. Do we form these habits to protect ourselves, to shield ourselves until we build trust and comfort? Some people may not relate because they have no social inhibitors, while others may not know that conversation ever gets deeper or relationships can become more meaningful because they don't know how to get past this point.

I don't know where I am going with these thoughts, this is all rambling- but each week as I over hear these routine conversations or take part in them myself- I wonder why? And I would like to switch it up. This is where my hypothetical questioning could come in handy. One of my favorites, "If you knew you were going to be a guest on Oprah sometime in the next 15 years, what do you think it would be for? (Amazing talent, wrote a book, cooking skills, makeover, burn victim.. etc)" Basically, What is your story? Or what will it be? And are you willing to share it?