Tired of being socially awkward? Can anyone relate? Not knowing what to say and sometimes saying things you probably shouldn’t or something just so random or irrelevant that it’s just awkward? But it makes sense to you because your train of thoughts led you there- but that’s just more random and weird to explain. You kind of feel out of place no matter where you are or who you are with. And even though you are among “friends” something just makes you feel like the odd ball. And most of this is what goes on in your head while everyone else couldn’t care less because they are so consumed in themselves too. You get nervous to go out and be social and any inkling of the spotlight makes you more uncomfortable. You want to go unnoticed but you also know that you must engage. Perhaps you can just watch and observe from the sidelines. But then they will think that is weird too…You are interested in other people but don’t know how to react when they show interest back because it’s difficult to decipher their sincerity. This is part of the problem, the overly confident, drama queens and gossip lovers make you especially uncomfortable because you know that they cannot be trusted and yet they are the worst kind to cross. But your better self will not allow you to become one of their followers. So you are just awkward. It’s a lack of confidence, insecurity and downright shyness that you have dealt with all of your life. And so you are awkward without meaning to be, partially because you don’t know what it is that you actually mean to be. You are not really sure of how to portray yourself because you fear overexposure but on the other hand have nothing to hide. All of the unwritten laws about social interactions are unnatural to you; these very laws are what make you feel so out of place. Because you naturally walk to the beat of your own drum, not theirs. But you live in their world and are told to play by their rules. So you seek a place between not breaking them and not abiding by them and there you sit in your awkward little bubble probably over-analyzing and thinking too much about all of it and then kicking yourself over the wasted thoughts of such trivial matters. They don’t understand you because you don’t fit any of the molds that they have premeditated. But one on one, you can usually fare just fine. Not great- but fine because you can explain yourself and give more context. It’s the large groups that you dread. Most people say you could use a drink to loosen you up. Extroverts will never understand introverts like you. Bottom line is that you are weird and awkward. The very word “Awkward” is awkward…it never looks right does it? And so you get the idea that I didn’t know how to come right out and say and I am tired of feeling socially awkward all of the time. It really is exhausting. So those of you who radiate natural charisma… don’t take it for granted. Please don’t judge me for this awkward rant, but these are often the thoughts of your awkward friends I’m sure. So don’t judge your awkward friends when they play hermit and opt for staying home to read a book, the very thought of socializing can make us tired and awkward all at once.
