Some body's child...

I have thought a lot about this many a times and in many directions. How when I see a homeless man curled in a ball under the bus stop under his grimy damp blankets, I can't help but wonder, "Where is his mother? His family? Or his childhood BFF?" Where did he come from and how did he get here? I'm sure he did not come into the world under those circumstances but for whatever reason he is there now, estranged from the world. As I have said before, everyone has a story- but I start wondering- what is his? When did things turn or was it a series of small and unfortunate events? Were drugs involved? Perhaps it was peer pressure at a young age... perhaps his mother was on drugs and his father MIA- Was there abuse? Negligence? Perhaps he grew up in 10 different foster homes... Never a real home or a real family. I'm sure at some point there was selfishness, pride, and lack of forgiveness involved from many angles... Perhaps he never learned to trust and he just needed a little more love. Or the need for stability that the Government just can't provide. Perhaps if the other kids wouldn't have judged him and would have invited him to play- perhaps then he would have friends now to look after him. Perhaps he is what so many judge him to be- a lazy and incapable alcoholic... But once again I return to the thought- God did not send him into the world that way. He was once a baby boy in some body's tender loving arms... He was once a child full of laughter and innocence. He was once another kid in class who probably had a crush on the girl sitting next to him. He once had dreams and goals. He once had a purpose. And perhaps he still does. Perhaps he still has a pinch of hope left. And despite the hardships, I am sure he holds a handful of happy memories dear to his heart. Probably a heart with a thick wall around it by now. So how does it happen? Has he been hurt and crossed so many times that he just gave up? Or has he hurt others and crossed them so much that they had to give up on him to protect themselves? It happens, there is a point where a mother or fathers heart breaks but they can't take care of everything anymore. There are probably a lot of broken hearts involved. I am sure that God looks down and weeps, these are his lost sheep that wander and sleep on the streets. Each of them once a child, and still some body's child, God's child.

Awkward

Tired of being socially awkward? Can anyone relate? Not knowing what to say and sometimes saying things you probably shouldn’t or something just so random or irrelevant that it’s just awkward? But it makes sense to you because your train of thoughts led you there- but that’s just more random and weird to explain. You kind of feel out of place no matter where you are or who you are with. And even though you are among “friends” something just makes you feel like the odd ball. And most of this is what goes on in your head while everyone else couldn’t care less because they are so consumed in themselves too. You get nervous to go out and be social and any inkling of the spotlight makes you more uncomfortable. You want to go unnoticed but you also know that you must engage. Perhaps you can just watch and observe from the sidelines. But then they will think that is weird too…You are interested in other people but don’t know how to react when they show interest back because it’s difficult to decipher their sincerity. This is part of the problem, the overly confident, drama queens and gossip lovers make you especially uncomfortable because you know that they cannot be trusted and yet they are the worst kind to cross. But your better self will not allow you to become one of their followers. So you are just awkward. It’s a lack of confidence, insecurity and downright shyness that you have dealt with all of your life. And so you are awkward without meaning to be, partially because you don’t know what it is that you actually mean to be. You are not really sure of how to portray yourself because you fear overexposure but on the other hand have nothing to hide. All of the unwritten laws about social interactions are unnatural to you; these very laws are what make you feel so out of place. Because you naturally walk to the beat of your own drum, not theirs. But you live in their world and are told to play by their rules. So you seek a place between not breaking them and not abiding by them and there you sit in your awkward little bubble probably over-analyzing and thinking too much about all of it and then kicking yourself over the wasted thoughts of such trivial matters. They don’t understand you because you don’t fit any of the molds that they have premeditated. But one on one, you can usually fare just fine. Not great- but fine because you can explain yourself and give more context. It’s the large groups that you dread. Most people say you could use a drink to loosen you up. Extroverts will never understand introverts like you. Bottom line is that you are weird and awkward. The very word “Awkward” is awkward…it never looks right does it? And so you get the idea that I didn’t know how to come right out and say and I am tired of feeling socially awkward all of the time. It really is exhausting. So those of you who radiate natural charisma… don’t take it for granted. Please don’t judge me for this awkward rant, but these are often the thoughts of your awkward friends I’m sure. So don’t judge your awkward friends when they play hermit and opt for staying home to read a book, the very thought of socializing can make us tired and awkward all at once.

Never Tell a Lie

Never Tell a Lie

My teacher told me I should never tell a lie
Because a lie will bring you trouble sure as pie
It's an awful thing to do, and it's true as true as true
You'll get caught and then you'll start to cry
You'll have a horrid, painful pounding in your head
And then you'll feel your face get hot and turn bright red
Then your heart will start to thump
In your throat you'll get a lump
And you'll feel so bad you'll wish that you could
lie right down and die
You're just better off to never tell a lie
Not even sometimes!
Remember, never, never, never tell a lie!

This little song got stuck in my head the other day but I couldn’t remember all of the words. These are the lyrics I found online. It takes me right back to third grade singing time in the Kiva. It’s a good little message to consider.

A Legacy of Great Mothers

This morning my thoughts are turned to a legacy of wonderful mothers. I was feeling a little discouraged about some things this morning and I opened up my email to see a sweet note from my Grandmother just to say that she was thinking of me and hoping the best for us and missing us over Thanksgiving etc… First of all, I’m lucky to have a Grandmother who knows how to use the internet and email- that is impressive! Second, my grandmother gets it. She understands life and the ups and downs and she can relate and listen and understand as a dear friend. And third- She is in tune, she always seems to know when a phone call or an email or a meal is needed. I am grateful for my sweet grandmother and I have thought a lot about the legacy of good mothers and I have some big shoes to fill. But one thing that I think has created this legacy in our family is the friendship from mother to daughter. I have heard my Grandmother speak so endearingly about her own mother and I know that their friendship ran deep. This has continued in the relationship between my mother and Grandmother as well. There is so much more than just passing on great cooking tips and recipes, it is the love and support that is offered to family. Never seeking recognition for their hard work and selfless acts, these women give so much more than we will probably ever realize, not just in acts but in thoughts and prayers and love too. There is also much laughter and a great sense of humor necessary where great mothers are found. My mother has always been great at laughing off the most frustrating moments and turning them into great memories. And great patience, I don’t know if this grows with age but these women have great patience, and with it great faith and trust in God. I am grateful for such wonderful examples and this legacy of mothers in my family. I am grateful for the friendships that we share and the opportunities that I have to learn from them. Such a friendship can be greater than just mother to daughter, because it transcends these stages of life, and really shows that we were and will be friends in the eternities. I hope to be like them and fulfill this great legacy of mothers and I hope that someday I will have a daughter to carry it on too.

A Sour Economy...

Clearly this is no surprise to anyone. There is plenty to be said about this crazy horrible economy that we are wading through. There are the many theories of causes to discuss, each with a little truth but nobody really taking all of the blame. There are manipulating antics of the media that are driving me crazy… The mixed messages that we hear on a daily basis “It’s getting better, buy buy buy….” But do we only hear these things because they are trying to get a little more cash flow into the economy to bring truth to their claim… but then we hear more accurate reports that say, “It’s not over yet, save, save, save…” All around I know that what we are experiencing now is not normal. Everything is out of balance. It is far reaching and very real. We are each feeling it in different ways, some through the weight of depreciating home values, job losses, or retirement losses… It may be you, or a family member, neighbor or friend. People are silently suffering these additional stresses, trying to make ends meet, planning and preparing for the future. As I mentioned, there are a lot of avenues and perspectives and opinions to discuss about this wallowing economy and these are but a few. Something in particular that discourages me personally is the job market. As I have watched both friends and family and co-workers close to me look for jobs I have realized how desolate it really is out there. And if you don’t believe me then take a look for yourself! The entire job market has really been transformed… it’s dying. It is much deeper than the unemployment stats that you are seeing, and the mass layoffs you read about. People just aren’t hiring and at least one in five people are looking. And the few that are hiring, are taking their sweet time, increasing demands on experience, and lowering pay- just because they can! I have seen this happen too. Over 500 resumes for one position is not unusual, and that is without using any recruiters as used in years past, because who needs recruiters in this market? They are almost more desperate than those they are trying to place. Resumes and applications are flooding the internet. It’s overwhelming for everyone. Fewer jobs and more and more jobless each day.... I read this article in BusinessWeek last month which has made me even more discouraged for my peers in particular and the long term effects of this economy on my generation. I have been watching it happen. Recent graduates are struggling to land a job, and those with only a couple years of experience who are laid off or forced to start looking just can’t compete with those who have more experience. And those who are lucky enough to get an entry level job, are getting significantly underpaid which is a consequence that will linger into his/her career long term. Others are staying in their current jobs, underpaid, overworked and significantly undervalued without hopes of promotions or raises… just because they can’t find anything else and are desperate to keep paying the bills. Very capable people are being hindered from success and growth. Employers clearly have the upper hand right now, and too many of them know it and are starting to abuse it. But who can blame them, they have to watch their bottom line too. It really is a rotten job market and a sour economy. And nobody really knows where it will go from here, despite the many predictions. And it’s only a matter of a couple of years really… Just a few years ago recruiters were fighting for top talent and young graduates could expect a few competitive offers, young families were dashing out to buy their first homes and fulfill the American dream and kids were still writing to let Santa know that they would be in Hawaii for Christmas. This year, things are a little different. But I hope we can ask ourselves what we can learn and how we can grow from it all. Challenges in life are not always bad, but they are hard. It's a good time to learn how to cut back, budget and evaluate needs verses wants and think about the big picture stuff... But a world with fewer opportunities can certainly be a challenge, especially when it seems that you are suffering consequenses beyond your control. So you just hope that within these challenges, you can also find opportunity.

Beauty Sleep

I know that women often joke about needing their “beauty sleep” but I actually think it’s more than just a saying. There’s truth there. Something biologically wonderful happens when we sleep. It’s like a mini makeover each night that we take for granted. But you can really see the difference when you don’t get it. When I am sleep deprived my body starts falling apart. My skin gets flaky or oily without the much needed time to regenerate. I break out and I swear my stomach gets fatter and my appetite is all out of wack. My eyes are either puffy or sullen. Everything is red and sensitive and uneven. Lack of sleep breaks down my immune system and weird things happen like styes and cold sores and swollen lymph nodes or whatever else feels attacked by a weakened lack of white blood cells. When you are tired and sleep deprived it not only shows in your physique but in the energy that you radiate, or lack there of. Your brain is also dysfunctional and emotions can run amiss so it hurts your “inner beauty” too! Sleep deprivation seems to always be on the list of potential causes to any illness, always listed next to its good friend stress. I don’t really know how it works, but just like you and I can’t take care of our homes, clean and cook and make necessary repairs around the house until we are home from work. Our bodies are too busy working too, walking us through the day thinking and moving and talking. Then when we are finally still and fall into our sleep our bodies can take care of the cleaning and repairing ‘around the house.’ So there is something real behind “beauty sleep,” for both men and women alike. Children too need their sleep to grow. As we break down and use up our fuel each day, we must rebuild and recharge each night. It balances us out. Certainly a little beauty sleep never hurt anyone.

A little story...

Once upon a time...
There was a little boy named Jimmy. Jimmy had always dreamed of going to Space Camp. He knew everything that a nine year old could know about space and imagined even more. Saturn was his favorite planet because of the awesome rings, and Pluto was his favorite "not planet" because he loved to tell grown up that they were wrong when they said it was the ninth planet. Because they went to school 20 years ago when scientists didn't know what they know today about dwarf planets and such.
Jimmy talked his grandma into buying him astronaut ice cream which was his favorite food. And all he wanted was to be an astronaut when he grew up and he knew that the first step to NASA would be Space Camp.
When Jimmy turned nine his parents said that if he worked hard and saved up all of his money, then he could go to space camp when he turned ten.
So Jimmy did just that. He did all of his chores around the house and in the yard each week. He even started pulling weeds for Mrs. Pemberly next door and feeding her cat when she was away. He spent even more time babysitting his little sisters and sometimes his crazy cousin Jane too.
It was a lot of work but he knew it would be worth it.
So the time came, and on his tenth birthday he opened the best birthday present ever. A ticket to space camp! It came with a book and a badge and everything! Jimmy opened the cover and read, "To Jimmy, You have worked hard and that will make you a great astronaut. I hope to see you in Space. Your friend, Buzz Aldrin."
All of his friends ooed and ahhed, "That's so cool" said TJ. "I wish I could go" said Max. "Awesome, I can't wait until my birthday" said Garrett. The day after the party Max came over to play. Max asked if he could see Jimmy's book about Space Camp and hold the ticket. "This is the coolest thing ever, you are going to become a real astronaut," said Max.
With only a week left to prepare, the next morning Jimmy woke up and went to read his book and get ready for camp. But it was gone! The book and the ticket were both missing!!!
"Mom did you move my book?" Jimmy asked everyone in the house and searched everywhere. But the book and the ticket for camp were nowhere to be found.
Jimmy cried. He cried like his baby sister and thought his hopes and dreams were lost.
"It's okay sweetheart, we'll find it or we can try and get you another one," said Jimmy's mother.
"But that was mine, with my name on it, the real thing signed by Buzz Aldrin himself."
One thing lead to another and Jimmy remembered that Max had held his book the day before. Then Jimmy got angry. "Max stole it. I know he did."
"Let's not jump to any assumptions now but I can call Max's mother in the morning and see if he might remember where he left it. Now get some rest."
Max didn't want to rest. He wanted to fester, and the more he thought the more angry he got. "I hate Max." Jimmy was restless and could not sleep, so he plotted his revenge until his tired eyes got the best of him.
"Mom, did you call Max's mom yet?" Max was shaking his mother and tapping her on the head with the phone. "Jimmy, don't be ridiculous, It's not appropriate to call people before 6am. Now you can go back to sleep or watch some cartoons if you can't sleep."
"Ugh" Jimmy pouted as he walked away, " You don't even care that my life is over and it's all Max's fault!"
"Now, don't assume dear- we don't know the whole story yet, it will all work out."
Jimmy turned on the TV and waited for his mother to wake up, all the while- getting more angry.
"Mom, can you call now?"
Ring ring... "You've reached the Andersons, we're not home right now, please leave us a message, beep-"
"I'm sorry Jimmy, but we will have to wait until later but let's keep looking for your book, it could still be here. Getting angry at Max won't get you any closer to space camp."
That afternoon, Jimmy went to play with TJ and Garrett, he was still so mad that he told them all about how Max stole his book and ticket and together they planned how to get even and steal Max's dog and never play with Max again.

When Jimmy got home his mother said, "I talked to Max's mother and Max did not take the book or ticket."

"I think he's lying and is too embarrassed to admit the truth," Jimmy shouted.

"Let's be reasonable, it could have been something else."

By this time Jimmy was consumed by the whole incident and taking it all out on Max. Jimmy thought his life was overm without that ticket he may never get to go to space camp and then he could not become an astronaut... so it had to be someone's fault.

Jimmy went to bed angry again.

The next day when Jimmy returned from swimming lessons his mother greeted him and said, "I have some good news for you!"

"Did Max bring my book back?"

"No dear, Max does not have anything to do with this, but I did find your book."
"Really? Where?"
"That afternoon that you and Max were playing was the same day that the cleaners came. They placed the book in the book case with the others and we didn't even know that it was here all along."

Jimmy could hardly believe it. He was stunned that he was wrong. All of that anger for nothing and Max didn't try to ruin his life.

"Jimmy, this is an important lesson to make sure that we don't assume things until we have all of the facts. That wasn't very nice to say all of those things about Max, was it?"

"But I really thought he did it..." Jimmy put his head down and could hardly enjoy having his book again because his mind now recounted all of the things he thought and said about his friend Max. "Do you think Max would ever come and play with me again?"

"I think so, let's see tomorrow. But tonight let's start packing your bags for Space Camp!"

(this is a first draft... anyone want to help edit & illustrate?)

Patience is not my virtue...

I’m sorry… I feel like griping and then I will feel guilty after doing so and set myself straight again to count my blessings. But I can’t wait anymore. I feel like I am sitting on a ticking time bomb. I have been sitting on it for way too long and all of that ticking is making me crazy. It is not a deadly bomb, in fact there may very well be a party inside but I don’t know. I almost don’t even care what’s inside anymore, I am ready. Bring on the explosion! Endless ticking is the worst alternative. The challenge for me is not knowing when the explosion will be and when the ticking will stop. Please stop. Please let me move forward with my life. I can’t do anything about it, I just have to wait. And if I knew where all of the pieces would land then perhaps I could plan and prepare while I am waiting… but I can’t because I don’t. There have even been a few times when the ticking gets faster so I think it’s about to go… and then it slows again back to a steady “tick, tick, tick…” I am anxiously, anxiously awaiting answers… antsy as can be. I have heard that “patience is a virtue.” But it is certainly no virtue of mine. I should work on that but I’m not sure how. It’s like getting in a line and not knowing how long the wait is because you can’t see the beginning and you don’t actually know what you are waiting for anyway…Who would do that? Crazy people- that’s who. That must be why I am going crazy. Too many unknown factors are making me idle- I like to work, to progress and move forward- but everything is on pause. I know, I know- when the bomb finally booms I will be so busy and so exhausted running around that I will wish for a pause… but maybe not, I am much better in motion! I know all of this talk of waiting is vague- but you get the idea and I imagine you have felt it to some degree too- and you know how unsettling it can be. Of coarse I am still far from “rock bottom” in life, but my sanity has taken a beating. A rollercoaster ride of excitement and possibilities followed by disappointments and let downs but worst of all… more waiting. Tick, tick tick…and more ticking.

In Remembrance

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved, and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

— Lt.-Col. John McCrae (1872 - 1918)

I don’t think that we remember enough the sacrifices made by those who have gone before us. Those who fought for our freedom and those who made great sacrifices for our lives to be what they are today. War is real and present and has been since the beginning. It causes heartbreak and sorrow that most of us will never fully understand. It is too casually overlooked as a news headline. Too many have lost their lives, so many have lost their loved ones and others have survived the battles but lost their innocence and happiness. I have walked and wept over the trenches of the Great War where my own great grandfather fought in France. I have visited the beaches of Normandy and the ships at Pearl Harbor. I can’t imagine the more recent tragedies experienced in Vietnam, Korea and now in the Middle East. It was fascinating to learn more this week as the 20 year anniversary of the fall of the Berlin Wall was celebrated. Such strange things can come out of war and politics. It is important to remember, to remember the lives and history that has shaped and continues to shape our world today. I have only mentioned a few of the wars in the past hundred years but smaller ones have been and are being fought around the world. Needless to say those larger and longer wars have altered the history of mankind throughout the centuries. So today, let us remember…

To each his own bubble

I was talking with my friend from India the other day and in response to my inquiry of why he left India to go to college in Illinois of all places he responded, “I kind of grew up in a bubble there and wanted to get out and have a different experience.” This struck me as very interesting and gave me an instant paradigm shift. From my perspective, Illinois or anywhere in the Midwest would seem to be “in a bubble,” while anywhere in India would seem exotic and rich in culture. But of course this was coming from my limited perspective and bubble of my own. What I see within my bubble is uncharted territory for others, and vise versa. So I started thinking about bubbles. It’s an interesting analogy that people use because if you were to picture yourself literally inside of a bubble, not only would you be limited from seeing beyond the barrier, sheltered from the world around, but I imagine that the rounded edge would distort your perspectives and reflect everything around back to center on you. This would indeed offer a very limited perspective. How interesting to think that all over the world people are stuck inside of their own bubbles, some by choice and others by circumstance. A bubble can be anywhere. It limits you from expanding into the world outside. You can live in a bubble in Africa or London just as easily as the in the Great Plains of Kansas. A bubble reflects you and your world rather than allowing you to see others and the lives that they live. I’m sure there are many bubbles within bubbles, a little one around you, one around your family, another one around your community, your state/country and so forth… The more that we allow other people/things/experiences to penetrate and “burst our bubbles” the more perspectives we can gain on the world at large. Even then, perhaps the world is one big bubble of its own?

Why oh why does that squeaky wheel get greased?

I have heard it a million times, “the squeaky wheel gets the grease.” It’s not because there is really something wrong with the squeaky wheel or that the other wheels don’t need grease too… it’s really just that all that squeaking gets annoying so that wheel gets greased just to “shut it up.” Same thing goes for people I guess, the people who demand, ask or impose more frequently get what they want because it’s annoying and everyone else wants it to stop and “shut them up.” But strangely enough, squeaky wheels usually keep on squeaking even after the grease. In fact, sometimes they become squeakier and the cycle continues. It’s sad when the other silent wheels dutifully perform without a peep but are neglected and unrewarded. If you apply the principles of survival of the fittest… it’s a strange debate- will the one that demands more survive because they get more, or will the others survive because they have learned how to survive on their own or without excess? It’s difficult to say because in the natural world the latter would certainly be best. But in this very complex modern human world, there is good reason to believe that the former might prevail because they can prey on the soft hearted who can’t say no or they can manipulate others rights to feel discouraged not to give in or take advantage of those who have other things to worry about and will do anything to stop the squeaking. Doesn’t anyone realize that the squeaky wheel is not the majority but just because the squeaking can get so loud and annoying the other wheels are forgotten? The others are too sensible to know that there is no point in squeaking too, that would just cause headaches for everyone. Clearly I am not a fan of these lines of justice being so blurred, frankly- it’s just not fair. But I guess I’ve heard that one before too… “Life isn’t fair...” is it?

A penny for your thoughts....

Thoughts, thoughts, thoughts...
Mid- fifties, cute navy blue patten leather flats, scarf, sunglasses and a very complacent look although I cannot see her eyes hiding beneath the large dark sunglasses...
A Banker deeply enthralled in his reading of the Wall Street Journal...
The old Chinese woman just picked up in China town, her old crackling fingers clinging to her pink grocery bag...
An exhausted working mother, tired and quite preoccupied with her blackberry...
The girl who looks like she is scowling at the world but I think that's just her rest face... she is probably really pretty when she smiles...
The guy next to me, reading "Dance, Dance, Dance..."
The list goes on as I take a look around my fellow bus passengers. Up and down, off and on, silent and still... and I just wonder- What are they all thinking about? Thoughts about the day, about what to do when they get home, about friends in distress, about troubled relationships, about what to wear, losing jobs, about war, daydreaming about love, worrying about the kids, financial concerns, news, books, problem solving, who knows... to each their own thought I suppose. It would be so interesting to get a glimpse of all the thoughts that pass on a simple bus ride home (perhaps frightening). It's kind of amazing that everybody is thinking all of the time. So many thoughts, both big and small. So many thoughts that are so fleeting because a new thought so quickly follows that most of them are never explored. And how is it that some people claim to just not think sometimes? That really baffles me. It's interesting how our thoughts really make up who we are- we must think in order to do, and we must do many things to survive in life. Our thoughts determine our beliefs, our moral code and thus how we determine to live our lives. Our thoughts alter our conversations, our habits and our relationships. Our thoughts determine our happiness, how do we look at things? And although I realize that thoughts and feelings are often viewed as opposites, I really think the line is quite blurred, and it's just those who "think too much" that try to define their "thoughts" as the logical thing to do, and their "feelings" as what they want to do.... But really both are just different kinds of thinking. Thinking can get complex and drive us in circles sometimes. Thinking too much or too hard or too fast can get exhausting and confusing at times. Thoughts beget thoughts, and everything around you begets thoughts... they are quite impossible to avoid. I think this is why we need to sleep- so at least we don't know that our brains are still thinking... That's another thing- I am no scientist but do thoughts really come from the brain? Or are they in our spirit? Our soul? It seems that thinking is an element beyond the body. It's all very interesting to me and probably quite boring to other people. Perhaps it's my intrigue with thoughts that makes me willing to share mine from time to time, because I think I would enjoy hearing the thoughts of somebody else. Oh my, if I really had a penny for each of my thoughts, or yours... I could be a rich girl!

"That's the most beautiful part of God, eh? Being almighty and yet not forcing Himself on anyone."-- Mother Teresa

I stumbled across this line in my recent reading and loved the simplicity of such a statement. I love and appreciate that God gives us agency. I am a firm believer in agency, although I know that this sometimes comes with the sting of accountability, it just makes so much sense. I think that God lets us know that he is there, ready and willing and waiting to help us, but we must come to him by our own choice. Although he is almighty and could certainly control our lives and choices for us, rather he guides us and we are taught principles to follow, but we still have our own choices to make of how to live and govern our lives.

Natures?

Too many thoughts today... They have been building up... One moment I am walking through the city- people, stop lights, taxi cabs, business lunches, high heels, men in suits, cell phones, cable cars, electric buses, shopping, cafes, sunshine peaking through the clouds and glistening from one sky rise to the next.... and I think, "I love you city." I'm not sure why, these things usually provoke stress and chaos... but in some strange sense I could see nature behind it all. Like looking at a beautiful beehive oozing in honey with busy little bees swarming about. But then I asked myself, if both the city and the hive can be natural developments by their creators, their species.... then what is unnatural? So often people assume that anything "man made" is unnatural, but perhaps those things are the natural course of man? Where is the line between natural survival of a species and unnatural behavior? Perhaps there is no such thing as unnatural, perhaps there are just different natures... The nature of one animal from the next, the nature of man, and the nature of God. Sometimes they conflict or overstep other natures, but perhaps this is the natural course of life...

Sometimes I envy the homeless

It’s true, sometimes I envy the homeless. It’s an interesting lifestyle, living so unattached. No phone to answer or emails to reply to, not even an address to find you. You kind of get to fall off the map and have a free pass to break all of the rules that society throws at you. You don’t feel obligated to go to expensive dinners or buy gifts. You are on your own clock, you get a lot of free stuff and you don’t have to pay taxes. You can be, do, wear and say crazy things and really nobody cares! Where some of us live in a life that we must have a job to pay the bills… the strange thing is that all too often that job that brings in the money also takes it right back. We must pay for clothes to wear to the job, and a phone to answer to the job, and transportation to get to the job and on top of these other things that add up, we must pay a third of that income to the government for having a job. It’s like a massive penalty fee, and a bunch of little service charges along the way that makes some of us wonder if the return is really worth it. Ok- you get my point and I’ll stop at that because I don’t want to seem too ungrateful and I don’t know if I even dare post this for fear of jinxing myself. I really am so happy to have a job, a home, a bed and a shower and means to provide food and to be connected to friends and family. I know that these are all wonderful things and I am lucky to have them. But sometimes- every once in a while, I confess that I have a moment of weakness where the pressure feels too heavy to keep it up and then I have a fleeting thought where I envy the homeless.

Wall Street Meritocracy

“Part of the charm of Wall Street and what scares most reasonable people away is that it is as close to a meritocracy as exists on this Earth. It’s dog eat dog, sink or swim, you do a trade and it works, you’re a hero! Enlist some clients, you’re a hitter! The flip side of course is what makes Wall Street so dangerous. You lose money more than once and you’re out of a job. Just like that- gone. There’s no tenure on Wall Street. No job security. Ten and twenty year careers end in a flash. That’s one reason why everyone is paid so well. Think of it as combat pay. They make your life miserable hoping you’ll quit before they break you or hoping they break you before you lose money for the firm. It’s not the post office. It’s trial by fire. You would think that would make the entire work force afraid to do anything for fear of being tossed out on their can, back into the cruel cruel averagely paid world. But a meritocracy works in the opposite way. You have wicked smart people trying to prove to each other that they are smarter than everyone else. Unlike acing a chemistry final or even nailing your SAT test, the score is kept with real money. How much of the bonus pool you command for your do or die heroics. Lehman Brothers was a classic Wall Street meritocracy. They wanted to one up Goldman Sachs to win the meritocracy game and get paid in spades. ‘Let’s leverage this sucker up with mortgages. A trillion dollar balance sheet, hey if not us, who?’ When that trade went South, Lehman went bust. You lose money you’re out- good bye. Unless of course the government bails you out. To remit the next blow up, the G20 is trying to limit pay and banish risk. But no matter what bureaucrats do Wall Street’s meritocracy of getting paid will live on. They’re going to find their way around any new rules. The game might move to Hedge Funds or some other dark corner of the financial market. But no amount of reform is going to kill Wall Street’s animal instincts.” – Andy Kessler (Author & former hedge fund manager)

I listened to this piece on NPR’s Marketplace yesterday and found it cleverly entertaining and interesting, certainly based on a lot of truth. Wall Street is kind of a beast of it’s own that may never be tamed. ( If you wan to know more about meritocracy…http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meritocracy )

Seventeen

“Seventeen only comes once in a lifetime
Don't it just fly by wild and free
Goin any way the wind blew, baby

Seventeen, livin on crazy dreams

Rock and roll and faded blue jeans
And standing on the edge of everything
Seventeen”

--Tim McGraw

I’m not sure why, but I found myself thinking about this song, and being seventeen. I must admit that I think it is the perfect age. Old enough to understand and appreciate life, but still too young to face the responsibilities waiting around the corner. Perhaps it’s something about September that takes me back to high school football games and the excitement of a new school year that makes me think about that time. Seventeen, one more year before you have to grow up and take on the world. Seventeen, one more year of living under mom & dad’s roof, and one more year with those friends who have known all of your awkwardness and growing pains since middle school. And one more year to decide what you are going to do with your life, and little do you know that this is only the beginning of that question. It’s a time when you take your metabolism and free education for granted. It is a time with little worries that seem so big, followed by bigger fears and dreams of the future. And it is a time when you really are “Standing on the edge of everything…Seventeen”

History in the making...

“Have you ever come across an old school exercise book, or something else you once wrote and, on leafing through it been amazed at how much you have changed in such a short time? Amazed by your mistakes, but also by the good things you had written? Yet at the time you hadn’t noticed that you were changing. Well, the history of the world is just the same. How nice it would be if suddenly, heralds were to ride through the streets crying: ‘Attention please! A new age is beginning!’ But things aren’t like that: people change their opinions without even noticing. And then all of the sudden they become aware of it, as you do when you look at your old school books. Then they announce with pride: ‘We are the new age.’ And they often add: ‘People used to be so stupid.’” – A Little History of the World by E.H. Gombrich

I feel like I see history in the making each and every day. We really are in a new age. I’m not sure what our posterity will call this… perhaps the “Digital Revolution,” in the same sense that the Industrial Revolution once changed history? There are so many changes taking place in the world right now. Perhaps this is the “Golden Age of America” coming to a close, just as the great empires of Rome and Greece and Egypt, nobody knew exactly when they would fall but the unraveling began much earlier than anyone foresaw at the time… Perhaps this will someday be called “The Great Recession” because of the far reaching global effects of the “Mortgage Meltdown” followed by the “Bailout.” It depends on how you break it down, this decade? Or this Century? And what aspects will they look at? The economics? Technology advancements? Social changes? Or the Wars and international relations? It all depends on what comes next. Frightfully so, if an international war broke out in the next few years then they would certainly analyze this time to find out the causes and build up. It is strange how one thing leads to another. Or in medicine, if they suddenly found a cure to cancer, perhaps this time would be talked about as ‘The Cancer Age.” Change is always creeping about. I know that I am young, but already this is not the same world that I entered 25 years ago, and I look forward with both concern and excitement. I can feel the changes, and it seems they are coming faster and faster with time, so many at once, all affecting one another. But as we take a look at history through the ages, things really do have a way of repeating themselves in different forms. People could learn a lot from each other if they looked at those who have gone before…. But all too often we insist on learning the hard way. These are interesting times and history in the making.

Mom & Pop Shops...

Why is it that Mom & Pop shops can survive in the cities but not in the suburbs? Neighborhood restaurants and boutique stores, hole in the wall ethnic cuisines and little trinket shops… they exist and thrive in urban areas. Areas where I imagine real estate is not cheap but business must be consistent enough to keep them alive. I have asked around to figure this out; most people told me that San Francisco has some sort of ban on big chain restaurants and stores. Recently I started looking into this and could not find any facts to back it up. I do think there is some truth to the zoning laws and restrictions but there is more to it than that. It is common throughout many cities in the US. I think a lot of it has to do with the people and consumer habits and thoughts. Shopping and fashion is in many ways the exception, considering the fact that name brands often matter even more in urban areas, so designer stores and popular brands can do extremely well. Trendy Foods can also find their niche in the city, most anything can. And I’m sure that the chain places in the cities still do very well. So why is it rare to see local Mom & Pop restaurants pop up in the suburbs? Not enough people, too expensive? Perhaps people have a hard time trying something new, or they are too cheap, or maybe there are just not very many restaurant entrepreneurs who want to live in the burbs? Maybe there's not enough family/kid friendly appeal, since those are the primary groups in the suburbs? But I have seen spaces in suburban strip malls that have had several different small businesses come and go in the space and each one just can’t seem to make it. Small cities struggle too, and the more homogenous the area, the more difficulty there is for unique/individual places to survive. Tourist towns are often an exception because there is enough traffic to keep things alive. But then again- why? Is it because the visitors are city folks? Or because they are the traveling or adventurous type? One pattern certainly is that the older, the bigger, the more diverse and the more transient the city is… the more likely you will see a little place that you have never seen before. I also think coastal cities have an advantage of access to more types of food and usually more fresh food. Of course, there are plenty of very isolated small towns across the country and throughout the world that are unique and full of their own charm. There’s something about middle class America that screams, “Best Buy” and “Chili’s” and “brand new town homes", or organized developments. Places where everything is new, and stucco and in a chain that you have seen duplicate models of time and time again if you have done any road trips in the past five years then you know what I mean. I’m not saying there is anything wrong with this or bad about these places. I too love my endless Olive Garden Salad and breadsticks! But I’m curious about the social phenomena of it all and wonder why it all plays out the way that it does. Do these massive chains scare away the little guys? Is it like the Bookstore battle in “You’ve got mail?” I would be fascinated to see some of the business consultant stats and figures that they have on their target markets, and wonder which ones flop and why? I am curious why so many great little shops and cafes just can’t make it, and why the ones that do, are successful? And what cities or areas do places like Applebee’s avoid and why? I assume they don’t like the beatnik neighborhoods that are always trying to rebel against the norm. There must be a lot of strategy behind it all, and there’s the marketing and PR and internet sending us all sorts of messages that we just don’t receive about the little guys. I don’t know where they get their research but it’s clearly there, we are numbers in their stats. Market research is a big player, done through little things like when we are randomly asked our zip code.... Anyway- besides my curiosity about these chain giants, I am still not sure about the factors that keep Mom & Pop shops afloat but I am quite sure there is some correlation among these random thoughts that I have been spewing out.

Life is but a Weaving

My life is but a weaving

Between my God and me.

I cannot choose the colors

He weaveth steadily.

Oft’ times He weaveth sorrow;

And I in foolish pride

Forget He sees the upper

And I the underside.

Not ‘til the loom is silent

And the shuttles cease to fly

Will God unroll the canvas

And reveal the reason why.

The dark threads are as needful

In the weaver’s skillful hand

As the threads of gold and silver

In the pattern He has planned

He knows, He loves, He cares;

Nothing this truth can dim.

He gives the very best to those

Who leave the choice to Him.

(Thanks MA for reminding me of this great poem, I have heard it before but love it again!)

Enablers

Spell check has ruined me. The little red line that shows up below misspelled words and the auto correct when I type words like "computer", this fabulous tool has enabled me with the inability to spell. I cringe when writing thank you notes and birthday cards because there is no device to monitor my spelling or grammar. Typing has also enabled me, and others of my generation to have poor penmanship. The Internet has made me a more impatient person because I am used to instant answers. The Internet has also enabled my knowledge retention. It comes and goes so quickly that information does not imprint on the brain like the old days. Because now you don't push yourself to remember or memorize since you know that if you forget then you just Google it again. We are spoiled with technology that does the work for us. I love it and in so many ways it really does make life easier and I often wonder how my ancestors got by without all of the wonderful gadgets and gizmos of our day. But sometimes those things or people that help us can indirectly hurt us too, because all too often they leave us enabled.

I want to understand the Earth

I have seen some pretty amazing places and things in this big beautiful world. Some places are covered in crazy vegetation, plants, algae and all sorts of insects. There are other places where big animals roam or smaller ones live in the trees or burrows in the ground. There are forests and ice caps and then there is the vast world of water that covers the majority of our Earth’s surface. And the ocean floor has climates and worlds of its own. But beneath all of this there is Earth. Earth in the form of dirt, sand, rocks and stones, Earth in the form of minerals and metals. And all of this gives us a little history of our planet. The layers and the shifts, the plates and the new earth created by volcanic activity. The colors of dirt and minerals found can tell us of what came before us, and as you dig a little deeper you can discover what came before that and so on down to the depths we cannot reach. There is so much to study and learn about on the surface, the many creatures and life forms that provoke curiosity distract us from the Earth below. But sometimes I think the Earth itself is underestimated and taken for granted. But the reality is that we are using and shaping the “Earth” each and every day. Whether it’s the metals used to make the pots we cook with or the oil in our cars, the brick that builds our homes or pavement below our feet or the wires that transmit the energy for our modern technology. The elements of the Earth are amazing, how they are not alive and yet provoke each other into new forms and wonders. I did not do so well in my high school chemistry class or perhaps I would have continued to pursue my curiosity of these majestic sciences. I was in Southern Utah last weekend, taking in the beauty of the red sandstone landscape, places like this can make you feel like you have stepped into a Star Wars film and landed on another planet. As I looked around at the delicate rock creations, and the distinct sedimentary layers I wanted to know and understand the Earth more. I want to know how it was formed and be able to look at the color or texture of the sand or dirt and learn from it. Perhaps an area that is desert now was once covered by water. And how did those old black rocks that are 2 billion years old get mixed in with the Grand Canyon? Did water once cover the whole Earth? Is there matter from our Earth that may have once come from other planets of times that we cannot even comprehend? I remember walking through the Ancient Ruins of Rome for the first time, thinking “Wow, this is so old!” But sometimes I forget to look around at the Earth below my feet and the mountains towering over my head and recognize that these creations are much older and grander than any ancient Coliseum or Pyramid. These natural wonders illustrate the design of divinity and a great creator. I am grateful to live among such beauty and I want to respect and preserve it. Do we abuse these gifts of the Earth? Do we appreciate the divine design enough? Do we take and forget to give back? Fire, Water, Air and Earth… do we remember how important this element is to our survival and existence? Earth is the element that records history and can teach us about the past billion years. We can learn about our changing climates and moving fault lines. I want to get to know the Earth and in so doing I think I will learn a little more about God and his plan. I will learn more of where I can from and recognize the reality that this world and this Universe are just bigger than than I can comprehend. Perhaps it's the combination of going to the Academy of Sciences last week and then a few days later spending the weekend exploring some of the untouched Earth. But just thinking about it, I am starting to understand the Earth a little more.

People that you love

Sometimes it’s hard when people that you love, can’t seem to love each other… Sometimes it's two good friends who can't get along. Inlaws who don't see eye to eye, or sometimes it's father and son or all too often mom and dad. Just because we love two different people so much we wish that they could figure out how to love each other too. And sometimes they have more in common than they think. Sometimes you know the best of both of them, but they just can't seem to show that to each other. Sometimes you know that they do love each other but one or both of them just can't seem to show or say it right. It's tough to see somebody you love get hurt, but even worse when you love the one doing the hurting too. And you wish that if they could both just see the good that you see, then they would love each other and let go of the wedges that divide them. Sometimes it's just tough when those you love, just can't seem to love each other.

My TV Affair...

I have never been a big TV watcher. I went through my phases over the years, the Flintstones and later Saved by the Bell. But I never really could keep up with those weekly shows that you had to follow. I remember friends having ER parties in high school and although I think I went a couple of times I never really kept up. I managed to dodge all of the Bachelor Final Rose parties in college and the Jack Bauer fans with their all night 24 marathons. One Christmas break my family did get my husband and I stuck on Lost, but even that has been too much work to keep up. Up until two years ago I had never even seen an episode of the Bachelor or American Idol. But when I moved to San Fran and started making new friends, it sounds silly but I honestly felt socially excluded just because I had no idea what anyone was talking about. It was like they were all talking about their mutual friends that I didn’t know. So discovering life in the fog, without homework, friends or family near by… I shamefully admit that I gave in that year and started watching… It started with The Bachelor and American Idol because those were the most talked about… one thing lead to another and I found myself sucked into Dancing with the Stars, So you think you can Dance, The Office (which I already enjoyed) then added 30 Rock, and then starting flipping over to Ugly Betty and Grey’s Anatomy during advertisements and being sucked into those too! I fell for the one fabulous season of Pushing Daisies (and loved it!) but then started watching the not so great shows that followed like Private Practice and even a few episodes of Dirty Sexy Money (total trash!), and the occasional Desperate Housewives. And without DVR, my nights were booked watching the television. It was like I had discovered TV and Pop Culture for the first time, it was addictive and unbelievably unproductive. I can’t even imagine what would have happened if I had cable! (But I even rented Gossip Girl for a while to keep up on what I was missing) All of it kept me up late and squandered my time- but I finally knew my who’s who when it came to TV talk with friends and I joined the Final Rose parties and I still talk about Liz Lemon like she is my friend. The writers strike and a new job that started early put a little damper on my vice for a while and I took a step back from it all. I became more selective and then thank goodness we moved into a new apartment a few months ago. Since we don’t have cable or DVR or anything we use bunny ears (our TV is digital) and our new place does not get very good reception. The summer TV Hiatus followed our move and I have purged myself of my TV addictions. Our television has become a black box decoration in the living room and my oh my…. I am loving it! I don’t have a clue what’s in the fall line-up. And I can’t remember the last time I watched anything on there other than an occasional movie. I am loving my life back, my time and my own thoughts and finishing more books. Although it’s sad that they are getting a divorce, I love that I don’t know who John and Kate are! I am fine with being out of the loop on TV Gossip. I know that not all TV is a bad thing, you can learn a lot from certain programs and it can be a good way to unwind. But all in moderation right? Be careful what you let into your home through the channels of the media! I am totally fine with going back to my TV free life. I’m sure I will watch an occasional show, but I will most likely rent or watch online so I know that I am choosing to watch it and not just doing it because it’s on next…

The Need for Need

I can’t recall the details but a while back I heard some interesting advice. When you have somebody who does not seem to like you or is just a little cold and you want to break down the barrier between you… Ask him/ her to help you with something. Perhaps something where they can really offer some support, help or advice (not silly tasks like cleaning up after you, try something you need and they can offer.) And somehow through helping you, they may start to like you a little more. It may sound backwards to the truth we already know in the joy of offering help to others, and not wanting to be a burden. But it can be as simple as asking travel advice about a place they have been. It may seem awkward asking because that person is a little cold but when they realize that they are needed then they warm up a little. You have to give in to your own pride, in case you were holding out and don’t want to ask for fear of feeding the other person’s ego- but the reality is, people need to be needed. Think about it- isn’t there a little emotional high from serving and helping others? So, although it’s hard to ask, you are really offering somebody else the chance at that warm fuzzy feeling, and soon- they will associate that with you. And you are now somebody that they know they can ask in return when they are in need, and soon enough you have found a friend in your previously cold coworker or classmate. It makes sense to me because people need to be needed. Our need for need is what solidifies relationships. Families need each other, friends need each other. People thrive in a work place where they know that they are needed. A good team makes sure that each person is needed. And things fall apart when we stop needing each other. Being needed builds self confidence and motivation. Need keeps us moving through the day and gives purpose to our lives. Of course it is important to be independent and self sufficient, but the man who says, “I don’t need nobody,” probably needs the most. And he probably needs to be needed more than anybody else. We live in a modern world where technology and money fills in for so many of the things we need in life… but these things cannot replace our need to be needed. People are now turning to their alternative realities because they feel needed there. We all need a little help. We have our struggles and our setbacks and sometimes just a need to talk but are all too often afraid to ask. Let it go both ways, reach out, you need somebody and they need you. Be willing to offer, share and serve and you will certainly be needed. Don’t let these needs become a burden when they are really such an opportunity. We all have needs and we all have a need for need. And just remember that need begets love.

Brown Paper Packages...

It started at a young age, walking home from the bus stop and always checking the mailbox. I would peruse the pile of mail, looking for a handwritten item. Of course nobody really sends mail to a ten year old but it was still exciting, and as my brothers and sisters served missions abroad I loved looking for the special envelopes with unique stamps when they would write home. I still unlock my mailbox and quickly peruse every day after work, I love almost anything that’s not junk mail. Postcards, packages, little notes... It’s much less frequent these days since we have instant communication through the Internet, but even there I have learned the excitement of real emails verses spam. I also think that online shopping has made its mark now that I watch people anticipate the day of delivery. It’s much more exciting than buying an item in the store, there is something about waiting to get what you want and not knowing exactly when it will arrive, this anticipation enhances the excitement even when it’s from yourself. And then receiving that brown paper package seems to carry a little bit of magic like opening gifts on Christmas morning. Since I get to deliver the mail in our office, I see people light up as I walk to their desk with a package in hand. And I can’t blame them, because I would too. It’s a funny thing, and this may be the only reason that I ever do announcements or Christmas cards (if I ever do) just for the sake of knowing that somebody is smiling on the other end when they see an envelope with their name and it’s not a bill. I know that I’m a little old fashion, but starting today I think I will start sending more mail… Maybe one thing a week? Perhaps today I will make a trip to the post office for some Forever Stamps (these are such a great idea if you haven’t caught on!) I just love the smiles from snail mail!

Parking & Politics...

I am not a real political person but sometimes I wish that I were. I wish that I had a greater understanding of the complexities of the great Healthcare dilemma and how to solve it. I wish I could keep track of who is fighting who in the middle east and why and how the US should or shouldn’t be involved. I wish I could see a proper balance between the great freedoms of capitalism and government regulation. I am too often guilty of accepting the status quo or sometimes just letting things happen. I wish that I utilized my freedom and my right to vote more often. I want to make more of an effort to understand local, state, federal and worldwide political affairs. This means, I have some studying to do…

But yesterday I found myself thinking about this… I was waiting in the Muni building to resolve some parking tickets. The first red flag was the fact that I had received THREE parking tickets for one violation in less than 24 hours; two of them were within an hour of each other. There wasn’t even time to correct the mistake (the direction of the wheels) and of course I started thinking that parking guy must have been really bored circling the block over and over and my wheels were the only thing he could find so he couldn’t help himself and had to keep writing it up- more/less it was probably just something to do. Wait a second- I think to myself… “And my tax dollars pay this guy?” Hmmm… I realize this was probably just my defense of a scorned parker in the city. But I went to the Muni office to plead my case that I only deserved one ticket, which in all fairness I was willing to pay. As I waited there with my number in hand, A087, I fell into conversation with my neighbor and I commented that I wished I knew that all of the money they received from tickets went to a good cause because then it would at least make it a little easier to pay, right? Then I learned the quite likely true rumor that the whole parking violation department barely breaks even from what they bring in, and have been in the red many times. Apparently they bring in just enough to cover management fees, rent, employee salaries and benefits. So what’s the point? It seems like a big-ole’ mess that takes money from some people just to give it to other people. Sure- they need to create jobs, but couldn’t they do something more productive than drive around their little tri-wheel cars? I understand the need for some regulation but I feel that they may just have a little too much time on their hands, which means- I not only get three times as many tickets, but I am also paying tax dollars towards unnecessary hours worked. On top of this- I recently learned from a highway patrol officer that they are forced to retire after 30 years of service and then they are paid out 90% of their salary for the rest of their lives!!!! The particular officer started when she was 25 and is retiring this year at 55. This seems quite out of date! We are likely to pay these people for another 30 years, half the work and double the pay? And I guess this is how many government positions are, which is why cities and states are going bankrupt. They can’t afford it! They need to make adjustments, just like corporate America can’t offer those kinds of benefits because it’s not realistic or out of their budget- why should the government be any less responsible? Ok- this may all demonstrate how naïve I am to politics, like I said in the beginning; I am not a political person. But when I see the disparity between my pretax income and my take-home, I start to wonder… Where is it all going? What I am I working so hard for if I give half of it away? Perhaps this is just part of growing up, and this is why the people get involved in politics- and you start to form opinions depending on which side of the fence you work on… I can’t blame those who work in Government to want to maintain and reinforce those benefits, but I can’t blame those who work twice as hard and pay twice as much without any personal benefit. I can see how these webs get so complicated and why people are so passionate. So, I think it’s time to get old, and figure out why my state is bankrupt, and my country is in immense debt… when we live in this land of prosperity? They have the means… but are they spending it right? Do you think they have heard of what some call a “budget?”

I chuckle to myself...

Each day I sign my signature for the various UPS, Fedex or lunch deliveries and I think of how I signed a baseball for a little Brazilian boy because through broken English I thought that’s what he wanted, but I was way off- an he was quite confused wondering why I had signed it at all… It was indeed a funny little moment that you had you had to be there for, but now as I sign my name I am reminded, and I chuckle to myself about it each day. Sometimes I laugh as I remember awkward situations. Or sometimes it’s one of my oh so random thoughts… like weird things that would show up in a French film or Japanese cartoon. Like this baby above- (it’s from Spirited Away, it’s only worth seeing because you will laugh later at the thought of how bizarre it was…) Sometimes I imagine myself doing silly things… Like walking into the office and instead of just saying good morning… what if I broke out in song and danced around between the desks… “Good Morning, Gooood Mooorning, Good Morning… “(like form Singing in the Rain) Then I imagine the reaction of all of my coworkers with their 6am tired eyes, not really sure what to think… And I chuckle to myself, even if it will never happen. Sometimes I think about playing practical jokes like on Just for laughs or what about the time I was on a bus and a little girl stuck her tongue out at me… so I did it back? Or the day I Iost my flip flop in the gutter and continued to run errands around town with one shoe… all the looks were pretty hilarious indeed, they all starred but not a soul asked why. I’m not sure why but I kind of love weird things. And I love the little inside jokes that I share with myself because I do love to break up a mundane day as I sometimes chuckle to myself….

If you ever wonder where your time goes...

http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2009/07/31/business/20080801-metrics-graphic.html This is a fantastic link to illustrate how we spend our day. (also click on the various groups and see how it changes)

Poetry Reading...

Everybody Eats…

30 people, one kitchen, It’s tricky indeed

Many peculiar palettes that we venture to feed.

Hungry and tired one by one they arrive

Waking up in the hours of sixes and five

So Ladies and Gentlemen please take your seats

While I seek to tell you how Everybody Eats…

Carving out bagels is one popular way

That many Watershed folks will start their day.

Each morning they peruse our cereal collection

And are hopefully pleased with our endless selection.

Eggs in her oatmeal is the fancy of one

While others wait for their toast to be done.

Bowls dripping in salsa, egg whites and grilled meats,

Dirty dishes reveal how Everybody Eats!

I too have been caught with my bananas and cheese

And others enjoy counting their calories.

Organic, soy, low carb, and fat free

These healthy requests I often see.

Yogurt and almonds, OJ and Mini-Wheats

Each is an evidence that Everybody Eats!

Mixt Greens, Tlaloc and San Francisco Soups

Are a few of the ways that we feed our troops.

But upon delivery watch out for stampedes

They flock to the kitchen like young racing steeds.

Larb salad, fig pizza, teboulah and more,

Strange flavors and smells we often endure.

Communal pad Thai, curly fries, even beets,

My oh my how Everybody Eats!

One orders the Grande Burritos surprise

And leftovers excite all the scavengers eyes.

York Patties and popsicles must never run out

Or I’m sure to hear some fuss and pout.

Strawberry tops and egg shells are evidence indeed

That our disposal and compost are in great need.

Some like plain spinach while others sneak treats

Evidence still that Everybody Eats.

An afternoon bowl of Special K

Is a popular way to get through the day.

Fruit snacks, Granola Bars and bowls of blue chips,

Eating anything to distract from low market dips.

Crunchy or Creamy, Bonbell or String cheese,

So many tastes are impossible to please.

Redbull, Diet Coke and last but not least

These drinks are all fuel to this Watershed beast

So please don’t forget the Coffee from Pete’s

That awakens the place where Everybody Eats!

(We were asked to write a poem for our work offsite where dinner was followed by our oh so entertaining poetry reading)