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I was thinking the other day about two kinds of people- those who like to fit in, and those who don’t. And how the two seem to always be at odds with each other. It’s kind of a complex little world of social phenomenon that comes into play. … Let’s just say you have a small town in the Midwest… you have a group that has been there forever, doing what their parents did, and what their parents’ parents did and so on…Going to the same schools, living in the same areas, enjoying the same hobbies, cheering on the same teams, and mingling with the same crowds… these are thick legacies not to be broken. They are living that same life that they saw modeled for them- it’s comfortable and familiar and they know what to expect and it’s probably a pretty good life. There is nothing wrong with this. It would probably be quite a little Utopia if it weren’t for that “other type” of person… These are often called the “black sheep”, the “rule-breakers”, “outcasts” or “outliers” or “misfits”… (Ha- “misfit” perfectly defined as “one who does not fit in.”) These are the people who like to be different and have a natural instinct against conformity of any kind. They relish in their uniqueness. It’s the classic story about the son or daughter born into a family from the “Fitin” group who feels restlessness with the world around him/her because he/she feels more akin to the “fitouts” and wants to be different… There is a conflict of interests that follow, the social pressure from the Fitins make it difficult because once you become a Fitout it’s difficult to go back because now you have already done something “different.” The Fitins are not usually very accepting of the Fitouts because they are unfamiliar, unpredictable and just “different”. They talk amongst themselves about how weird or bizarre they are and about the unimaginable or peculiar things that they do. And although the Fitouts do not seem to be so consumed with the Fitins and their predictable ways, they too are guilty of critiquing their lack of originality and sometimes shallow focus. They are usually cordial but the bottom line is just that they don’t understand each other. It’s funny though because sometimes you might have a Fitout that just doesn’t like the Fitins in their area because they just don’t have the same interests… so they break away and find a new area, a new group where they “fit in” and soon this new group with common interests and histories create a new generation of Fitins. It goes both ways because life always does. Sometimes you have somebody who is a Fitin, they actually like the life, the style and the people and everything that all of the other Fitins like in their circle… but this Fitin wants to feel different so they go among another circle with a different history/culture and ways but they hold to their roots rather than changing and relish in the fact that they are different now but they didn’t have to change who they were, just where they were because they are still just like everyone else where they came from but their new circle doesn’t really know that. And there are so many Fitouts who are actually Fitins but they won’t admit it, because sometimes people do something “different” just to “fit in”- it seems a little contradicting but it’s surprisingly common. So often people are trying to fit in with one crowd while trying to fit out or make a statement against another…. So maybe we are not all one or the other but a little bit of both at different times and places and social circles. It may depend on who and what you are exposed to, and most people don’t realize that these things alter their choices and can define who they are. So many people say that they “don’t care what people think” because they care the most- and say that just because they want people to think that they don’t care… which clearly means they really do care if they make such a big deal of saying it all the time. People like to talk and point fingers and make judgments and make up silly unwritten rules to place each other in categories- just to make it easy for them to typecast one another rather than getting to know each other. Nobody is all or nothing and no two people are exactly alike even if they try to be- we see and feel and taste and think and hear and imagine different things, different colors or angles or pitches or tones or flavors or temperatures or emotions… we are each uniquely crafted as individuals from the moment we enter this world. If only we could embrace it, and embrace it in each other and realize that it’s that very individual uniqueness that is the one commonality that can help us understand one another.
I was thinking the other day about two kinds of people- those who like to fit in, and those who don’t. And how the two seem to always be at odds with each other. It’s kind of a complex little world of social phenomenon that comes into play. … Let’s just say you have a small town in the Midwest… you have a group that has been there forever, doing what their parents did, and what their parents’ parents did and so on…Going to the same schools, living in the same areas, enjoying the same hobbies, cheering on the same teams, and mingling with the same crowds… these are thick legacies not to be broken. They are living that same life that they saw modeled for them- it’s comfortable and familiar and they know what to expect and it’s probably a pretty good life. There is nothing wrong with this. It would probably be quite a little Utopia if it weren’t for that “other type” of person… These are often called the “black sheep”, the “rule-breakers”, “outcasts” or “outliers” or “misfits”… (Ha- “misfit” perfectly defined as “one who does not fit in.”) These are the people who like to be different and have a natural instinct against conformity of any kind. They relish in their uniqueness. It’s the classic story about the son or daughter born into a family from the “Fitin” group who feels restlessness with the world around him/her because he/she feels more akin to the “fitouts” and wants to be different… There is a conflict of interests that follow, the social pressure from the Fitins make it difficult because once you become a Fitout it’s difficult to go back because now you have already done something “different.” The Fitins are not usually very accepting of the Fitouts because they are unfamiliar, unpredictable and just “different”. They talk amongst themselves about how weird or bizarre they are and about the unimaginable or peculiar things that they do. And although the Fitouts do not seem to be so consumed with the Fitins and their predictable ways, they too are guilty of critiquing their lack of originality and sometimes shallow focus. They are usually cordial but the bottom line is just that they don’t understand each other. It’s funny though because sometimes you might have a Fitout that just doesn’t like the Fitins in their area because they just don’t have the same interests… so they break away and find a new area, a new group where they “fit in” and soon this new group with common interests and histories create a new generation of Fitins. It goes both ways because life always does. Sometimes you have somebody who is a Fitin, they actually like the life, the style and the people and everything that all of the other Fitins like in their circle… but this Fitin wants to feel different so they go among another circle with a different history/culture and ways but they hold to their roots rather than changing and relish in the fact that they are different now but they didn’t have to change who they were, just where they were because they are still just like everyone else where they came from but their new circle doesn’t really know that. And there are so many Fitouts who are actually Fitins but they won’t admit it, because sometimes people do something “different” just to “fit in”- it seems a little contradicting but it’s surprisingly common. So often people are trying to fit in with one crowd while trying to fit out or make a statement against another…. So maybe we are not all one or the other but a little bit of both at different times and places and social circles. It may depend on who and what you are exposed to, and most people don’t realize that these things alter their choices and can define who they are. So many people say that they “don’t care what people think” because they care the most- and say that just because they want people to think that they don’t care… which clearly means they really do care if they make such a big deal of saying it all the time. People like to talk and point fingers and make judgments and make up silly unwritten rules to place each other in categories- just to make it easy for them to typecast one another rather than getting to know each other. Nobody is all or nothing and no two people are exactly alike even if they try to be- we see and feel and taste and think and hear and imagine different things, different colors or angles or pitches or tones or flavors or temperatures or emotions… we are each uniquely crafted as individuals from the moment we enter this world. If only we could embrace it, and embrace it in each other and realize that it’s that very individual uniqueness that is the one commonality that can help us understand one another.
