Have you ever had one of those Good for nothin days? Where you just really feel worthless… Perhaps this is just me and something I struggle with but sometimes (more often than I should) I will get down and start seeing the glass half empty rather than half full. I start to feel discouraged that I didn’t come with any talents or special abilities like the rest? I kind of start to feel like vanilla generic brand sandwich cookies (vanilla are even worse than chocolate)… nobody wants those compared to all of the fancy Keebler, Nestle and Pepperidge Farm options… and Don’t get me started on the section with European delicacies or the real ones in the bakery or the dough that you can get to make them yourself… and I’m not even mentioning Girl Scouts, homemade recipes or macaroons from the Boulangerie… This is a silly analogy I know, clearly I have a thing for baked goods. But sometimes it’s hard not to compare to all of the amazing people that I am surrounded by. I am not a dancer or a singer. I am not a leader or innovator. I am seriously deranged when it comes to anything that requires coordination, which means that people literally laugh when they watch me attempt sports (really they do, this has happened many times) I wish that I were artsy, but I just don’t have that natural eye for creative genius like all my interior design or Etsy friends. So when it comes to cute or crafty design stuff, again I am sub par. I’m not even smart enough to have a real job- nope, I’m a brainless admin surrounded by Ivy League, Summa Cum Laude graduates. I feel pretty pathetic sometimes. I am not even interesting to talk to or fun to be around (although I sure enjoy talking to people…) but I am quite drab compared to people who can entertain, tell great stories and bring laughter and excitement… I am a big bowl of blah. (Which makes it kind of ironic that I even have a blog at all. Sometimes I laugh at myself and wonder who in the world would waste their time reading this stuff?) I don’t do cutesy crafty blogger stuff and I’m far from being a fashionista or trend setter. I don’t speak any languages (the worst part is that I actually took French for four years of HS and two years of college and I’m still not even proficient!) You know those people who are just naturally good at everything they come in contact with and they don’t even really have to try? I think I am their exact opposite. Nothing comes naturally and after a lot of hard work, I can barely break even. I wish that with all of these missing skills/talents that I were secretly very spiritual or in tune… but I’m nowhere near where I should be and I don’t even think I can remember one scripture mastery. In the parable of the ten talents I often think about how I need to make the most of what I have, even if it’s just one- but I haven’t figured out what that one is yet? When among good friends they try to console me that my squishy nose or ability to touch my toes makes me unique- Ha! That’s practically an insult when they have to stoop so low- (Most people can touch their dang toes- and have you seen Cirque de Soleil- do you know how they can bend, now that is talent!)
Sorry for this petty post, my own little pitty party if you will. But this is how I often feel, and what I think about when I start to see the glass half empty… Don’t get me wrong, I still know that I have been given much. I am healthy and provided for and grateful for wonderful people and opportunities in my life. But sometimes I have a good for nothin day where I wish that I actually had something to offer. Perhaps something of great value or a way to give back or contribute, Any skill or talent would do. Something to write my story, (see everybody has a story.) I may never amount to much but I do want to make the most of limited resources… but I often get stumped in on these good for nothin days.
