I have so many things on my mind that I don't know where to begin and maybe I'll come back to this thread again later to elaborate but for now I can't seem to narrow in on just one thing so here goes another ramble... Yes, the "New Year" of course this is a time of reflection and yet looking forward with hope. It's a time of resolution and wonder of what is yet to come and yet leaving things behind. But it's also just a little mile marker on this very long never ending road of existence. The mile marker is actually rather insignificant other than acting as a time reference... Oh yes, and the holidays- I do indeed love the build up to Christmas and just the whole feeling that surrounds Christmas... but I continue to hate the let down of New Years. I don't know why people insist on making New Years Eve into a big deal, everyone would enjoy it so much more without the ridiculous hype. People expect too much and are forced to stay up late until they are grumpy or wasted. On another note- I think people just wear me out. I was so exhausted after spending over a week of being social every day. This must have something to do with me being awkward, or being an introvert because I really do need my down time. Perhaps it's not the people that wear me out but more likely the fact that my brain and emotions can't keep up. There are always so many unfinished conversations and thoughts that my subconscious is trying to remember among all of the new information and details that I am trying to process and file away as well. And then there's the exhaustion that comes from their questions and speculation, and I think it's worse when you don't actually have answers... Like what happens next? Where will you live, what job will he take, when will you have kids...? Come on people- We are not keeping secrets- we just don't know! And boy would I like to know more than anyone else! Life is kind of funny like that, there is all of this figuring out the future business that seems to distract us from enjoying the present sometimes, and yet it one cannot ignore the importance of the future and just enjoy the present because that could make for an unfortunate future present. Once again- Life is just a balancing act! I also wish I understood more about God's role in our lives. Supposedly he already knows what we will do because he knows us so well. But I wonder, are things really "supposed to happen" any particular way? This is a long and tangled topic that I do not have the energy to explore right now... Another thing that I might as well add to these thoughts is- Why are there never any great guys to set up with all of the many wonderful girls that I know? Perhaps I am biased but I really think the quality of men is on a slippery steep slope these days, so when you find a good one- then he is probably worth hanging on to! When you think about it, Love really is quite a little miracle- of all of the people in the world, what are the odds that you will actually meet somebody that you are attracted to, who you enjoy being with, with whom you share beliefs, who you like, and who actually likes you back, who is willing to commit.... unfortunately- it's not all that likely so it's pretty amazing that it seems to happen all the time. Ok- another subject... Love-handles. Yes that wretched tire/extra layer that surrounds the mid-section of my body. I don't think it's natural or supposed to be there. Back in the day people were active all day long, they didn't "work out", exercise was just part of their day, imagine how hard your abs would work bending over picking from the garden, tilling the earth or cutting fire wood... imagine walking everywhere and carrying goods around... All I know is that it is not natural to sit behind a computer screen all day, with food prepared and delivered and somehow still be exhausted at the end of the day! Again- I have more thoughts on this subject but I'll move on to the next but since I mentioned work, I am kind of amazed how much of life comes back to one's occupation and ability to make money- why must we have money to survive in this world? Aren't there better things we should be doing with our time? But we don't because you can't get paid to do those really important things in life. Ha- once again, that balancing act of life comes to mind... Anyhow- I can see that this post is starting to make me look like I have a chip on my shoulder or something. I promise that I am not all doom and gloom, I am just trying to figure a few things out and I am kind of fascinated by the ironies of life and perhaps even more so by the ironies of humanity. Isn't it kind of amazing that no two people are ever really the same- I think I am repeating myself- but nobody has seen and heard and felt all that you have. Your perspective is unique to you. It's too bad that we don't all understand each other a little more. It seems that the challenges of life allow us more compassion on others because we start to understand what others may have gone through, or why sometimes people can do unreasonable things and hopefully this reminds us not to judge others. Okay- this is kind of one of those long boring posts that could go on forever because it is about nothing and everything... so I'll call it a wrap for now...
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
A little stream of thoughts...
I have so many things on my mind that I don't know where to begin and maybe I'll come back to this thread again later to elaborate but for now I can't seem to narrow in on just one thing so here goes another ramble... Yes, the "New Year" of course this is a time of reflection and yet looking forward with hope. It's a time of resolution and wonder of what is yet to come and yet leaving things behind. But it's also just a little mile marker on this very long never ending road of existence. The mile marker is actually rather insignificant other than acting as a time reference... Oh yes, and the holidays- I do indeed love the build up to Christmas and just the whole feeling that surrounds Christmas... but I continue to hate the let down of New Years. I don't know why people insist on making New Years Eve into a big deal, everyone would enjoy it so much more without the ridiculous hype. People expect too much and are forced to stay up late until they are grumpy or wasted. On another note- I think people just wear me out. I was so exhausted after spending over a week of being social every day. This must have something to do with me being awkward, or being an introvert because I really do need my down time. Perhaps it's not the people that wear me out but more likely the fact that my brain and emotions can't keep up. There are always so many unfinished conversations and thoughts that my subconscious is trying to remember among all of the new information and details that I am trying to process and file away as well. And then there's the exhaustion that comes from their questions and speculation, and I think it's worse when you don't actually have answers... Like what happens next? Where will you live, what job will he take, when will you have kids...? Come on people- We are not keeping secrets- we just don't know! And boy would I like to know more than anyone else! Life is kind of funny like that, there is all of this figuring out the future business that seems to distract us from enjoying the present sometimes, and yet it one cannot ignore the importance of the future and just enjoy the present because that could make for an unfortunate future present. Once again- Life is just a balancing act! I also wish I understood more about God's role in our lives. Supposedly he already knows what we will do because he knows us so well. But I wonder, are things really "supposed to happen" any particular way? This is a long and tangled topic that I do not have the energy to explore right now... Another thing that I might as well add to these thoughts is- Why are there never any great guys to set up with all of the many wonderful girls that I know? Perhaps I am biased but I really think the quality of men is on a slippery steep slope these days, so when you find a good one- then he is probably worth hanging on to! When you think about it, Love really is quite a little miracle- of all of the people in the world, what are the odds that you will actually meet somebody that you are attracted to, who you enjoy being with, with whom you share beliefs, who you like, and who actually likes you back, who is willing to commit.... unfortunately- it's not all that likely so it's pretty amazing that it seems to happen all the time. Ok- another subject... Love-handles. Yes that wretched tire/extra layer that surrounds the mid-section of my body. I don't think it's natural or supposed to be there. Back in the day people were active all day long, they didn't "work out", exercise was just part of their day, imagine how hard your abs would work bending over picking from the garden, tilling the earth or cutting fire wood... imagine walking everywhere and carrying goods around... All I know is that it is not natural to sit behind a computer screen all day, with food prepared and delivered and somehow still be exhausted at the end of the day! Again- I have more thoughts on this subject but I'll move on to the next but since I mentioned work, I am kind of amazed how much of life comes back to one's occupation and ability to make money- why must we have money to survive in this world? Aren't there better things we should be doing with our time? But we don't because you can't get paid to do those really important things in life. Ha- once again, that balancing act of life comes to mind... Anyhow- I can see that this post is starting to make me look like I have a chip on my shoulder or something. I promise that I am not all doom and gloom, I am just trying to figure a few things out and I am kind of fascinated by the ironies of life and perhaps even more so by the ironies of humanity. Isn't it kind of amazing that no two people are ever really the same- I think I am repeating myself- but nobody has seen and heard and felt all that you have. Your perspective is unique to you. It's too bad that we don't all understand each other a little more. It seems that the challenges of life allow us more compassion on others because we start to understand what others may have gone through, or why sometimes people can do unreasonable things and hopefully this reminds us not to judge others. Okay- this is kind of one of those long boring posts that could go on forever because it is about nothing and everything... so I'll call it a wrap for now...
